1
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:40,060
Oh, Christ.

2
00:00:42,593 --> 00:00:44,893
- Hello?
- Hi!

3
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,840
Sorry to keep you waiting.
I was by the pool.

4
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,000
- How was your journey?
- Oh, fine.

5
00:00:51,061 --> 00:00:53,035
Bit of trouble on the M25, but...

6
00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:55,860
I was wondering where you'd got to,
as I was sitting by the pool.

7
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,420
Oh, sorry, Jason texted Derek
to let him know.

8
00:00:58,480 --> 00:00:59,460
No, it's fine.

9
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,694
I was just worried about you, as
I was sitting by the pool.

10
00:01:03,402 --> 00:01:04,602
Oh.

11
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,339
It's got a pool.

12
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,585
Right.

13
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,158
Oh, sorry, love.
Come on.

14
00:01:13,945 --> 00:01:15,403
Hello.

15
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:19,100
- It's amazing.
- Yeah, this is incredible.

16
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,820
Thanks for inviting us, Pauline.

17
00:01:21,022 --> 00:01:23,140
Well, it's just got the three
reception rooms

18
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,700
and the one swimming pool and the
4.5 acres of grounds, but...

19
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:27,980
it'll do!

20
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,455
This way.

21
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:31,806
Gravel.

22
00:01:32,386 --> 00:01:33,586
Yeah.

23
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,553
Welcome.

24
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:39,500
Oh!

25
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,960
- Here's the birthday boy.
- Here she is. Big sis!

26
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,320
Welcome to our little home for the week.

27
00:01:47,381 --> 00:01:48,710
Shoes.

28
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,620
Yep.

29
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,540
Wow, look at this place!

30
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,100
Shoes.

31
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:58,691
Yes. Not a bad life, 
just been sitting by a roaring fire

32
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,192
and reading a newspaper.

33
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,140
Champagne, everyone?

34
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,096
Oh, wow.
Uh, yeah.

35
00:02:06,157 --> 00:02:08,100
- Go on, then.
- Yeah.

36
00:02:08,168 --> 00:02:09,888
We've just got the 96 bottles.

37
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,540
Shall we use the plain flutes
or the crystal?

38
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,340
I hate having to choose.

39
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,775
Well, I won't be having any champagne, so...

40
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,755
- I'm on antibiotics, aren't I?
- Yeah.

41
00:02:23,816 --> 00:02:25,076
Are you, love?

42
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:26,540
Yeah.

43
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,220
I'm on antibiotics, which means
I can't drink alcohol.

44
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,980
And also, I'm always tired and
I can't lift anything.

45
00:02:33,227 --> 00:02:34,740
And in the mornings, I'm sick.

46
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,100
And for the rest of the day,

47
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:39,860
I have to keep eating and drinking
water or I just keep being sick.

48
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:43,280
- And you're a little bit teary, aren't you?
- Yeah.

49
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,238
Just a little bit, but I...

50
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,557
Let's not talk about it.

51
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,620
They're really strong antibiotics.

52
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:57,380
- Shall we...
- Yes.

53
00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:00,168
Well, if you'd like to come this
way, we'll begin the tour.

54
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,700
Oh, this hallway is nearly
as big as my house.

55
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:06,233
Yes, but it feels bigger.

56
00:03:06,339 --> 00:03:08,059
Should you be carrying that?

57
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,491
This is the dining room.

58
00:03:12,882 --> 00:03:15,139
Oh, yeah, it's lovely.

59
00:03:15,386 --> 00:03:16,740
- Oh.
- Don't.

60
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,380
Oh, wow, babe.

61
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:19,940
Look at the bottle.

62
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,420
That's not a bottle, babe.
That's a decanter.

63
00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,060
Piano, obviously.

64
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,375
Very nice.

65
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,809
You can play the piano, can't you?

66
00:03:29,421 --> 00:03:31,296
It's pronounced pi-ah-no.

67
00:03:31,372 --> 00:03:32,860
This is quite a good space

68
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:36,808
if you want to read a broad sheet
or check the Ftse 100 index.

69
00:03:36,869 --> 00:03:38,790
Well, that's good to know.

70
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:44,060
65 inches, 4k, surround sound,
Wi-Fi, Sky plus,

71
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:47,032
and if you ask it nicely, it'll
make you a latte.

72
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:48,073
Ha.

73
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,180
And if you're nice to the telly,
it'll make you...

74
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:51,724
- I've done it.
- Right.

75
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,166
The kitchen.
It's got an island.

76
00:03:55,474 --> 00:03:57,300
Bay window.

77
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,037
Hand spray pull-out rinse.

78
00:04:03,917 --> 00:04:04,861
Wow.

79
00:04:05,130 --> 00:04:06,510
Yes.

80
00:04:06,571 --> 00:04:09,577
- Oh, wow.
- Bloody hell!

81
00:04:09,671 --> 00:04:13,612
It's just got the two dishwashers,
ice machine, larder through there.

82
00:04:14,251 --> 00:04:17,317
I don't suppose you've ever had
a larder, have you, Cathy?

83
00:04:18,266 --> 00:04:19,286
No.

84
00:04:19,347 --> 00:04:20,549
No.

85
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,020
Well, I don't know about you guys,

86
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,260
- but I'm going to have a dip in the pool.
- Oh, my God.

87
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,900
Derek will help you with your luggage

88
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,986
and once I've dried off, I'll
accompany you to your rooms.

89
00:04:29,047 --> 00:04:31,547
- Thanks, Pauline.
- Thanks, Pauline!

90
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,340
Oh, it's... It's really
lovely, Pauline.

91
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,461
Thanks so much for inviting us.

92
00:04:37,011 --> 00:04:38,211
It's quite all right.

93
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,466
I love a swimming pool in the spring.

94
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:53,580
So fresh!

95
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:54,840
Lovely and fresh.

96
00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,900
I'll go in later.

97
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,277
Good idea.

98
00:05:38,227 --> 00:05:42,827
Synced and corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com

99
00:05:56,633 --> 00:06:01,199
_

100
00:06:02,818 --> 00:06:04,989
- Hello?
- Michael!

101
00:06:06,069 --> 00:06:07,380
I'm in here, mate.

102
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:09,700
Sorry, just turn this off.

103
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:12,020
I've been listening to, er...

104
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,540
Radio 4.

105
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:14,828
Oh, OK.

106
00:06:15,548 --> 00:06:18,384
It's a radio station, but they don't
play music and you can't phone in.

107
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:20,575
Yeah.
I have it on in the car.

108
00:06:22,239 --> 00:06:23,439
I can see that.

109
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,900
- Thanks for coming.
- Thanks for inviting me.

110
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,240
- It's quite a house.
- Yeah.

111
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,300
So, you'll be residing in Chestnut, Cathy.

112
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,260
It's not one of the premier rooms, but

113
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,200
don't worry, it's very you.

114
00:06:50,355 --> 00:06:51,755
Aw!

115
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,055
A little bed for a little Cathy.

116
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,506
Thanks, that's really thoughtful.

117
00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:59,416
Will you actually fit in that?

118
00:06:59,838 --> 00:07:01,187
Just about.

119
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,700
Aw, that's so cute.

120
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,100
She's such a tiny person.

121
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,243
Only things to point out are,
don't touch the Lego.

122
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:09,860
I won't.

123
00:07:10,395 --> 00:07:11,595
Promise?

124
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,859
- Yeah.
- No smoking indoors, and...

125
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,125
- swan.
- Oh, yeah. Wow.

126
00:07:20,058 --> 00:07:21,332
Never seen that before.

127
00:07:22,003 --> 00:07:23,439
Thought not.

128
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,695
If you'd like to follow me.

129
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,700
There's a room down here we're
keeping for a party

130
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:33,206
on Saturday, so you'll be residing
down in the South wing.

131
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,348
- Oh, my God.
- Welcome to your room.

132
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,220
It's got en en-suite.

133
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,480
I'll be next door, so just give me a shout.

134
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,280
Thanks, Pauline!

135
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,320
- That's a nice one.
- Show me.

136
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,345
- It's a nice one, isn't it?
- Yeah, it is a nice one.

137
00:08:07,617 --> 00:08:08,837
It's unbelievable.

138
00:08:08,898 --> 00:08:10,899
- And that's just setting one.
- Jesus.

139
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,039
Whereas, if you really to fuck
something up...

140
00:08:16,779 --> 00:08:18,960
- Oh, my God.
- It's vicious!

141
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,400
- Oh, I bet it makes a lovely dough.
- What's that?

142
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,180
- I bet it makes a lovely dough.
- Oh, yeah, mate. Springy as fuck.

143
00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:29,656
Right.

144
00:08:30,939 --> 00:08:32,139
Here it is.

145
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,082
Just a small diamond.

146
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,282
- You going to do it, then?
- Yeah.

147
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,316
Cost me 8,900.

148
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:53,359
Deary me.
Why are you spending 8,900 on a ring?

149
00:08:57,294 --> 00:08:59,138
That's how much it cost.

150
00:08:59,708 --> 00:09:02,324
- Look at the en-suite, babe.
- Is there anything we can nick?

151
00:09:02,385 --> 00:09:03,900
Power shower.

152
00:09:04,178 --> 00:09:06,480
- Is it big enough?
- Erm...

153
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,244
- That feels all right.
- Little bit tight, maybe, but...

154
00:09:17,305 --> 00:09:19,180
No, it's all right.

155
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:20,821
What about when you wash your bum?

156
00:09:20,882 --> 00:09:22,162
Erm...

157
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,191
- Good for you?
- Yeah, good for me.

158
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,817
- Good for you?
- Yeah.

159
00:09:33,731 --> 00:09:35,051
Teeth?

160
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,193
Yeah, teeth should be all right.

161
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:39,960
Erm...

162
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,371
You know you don't have to
wash your bum like that.

163
00:09:49,515 --> 00:09:51,460
I want to wash my bum like that.

164
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,422
That's quite a chandelier.

165
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,699
Yeah, I was thinking I might nick
it and put it in my house.

166
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:02,960
It would fit right in.

167
00:10:03,989 --> 00:10:06,145
What do you think of my bedroom?

168
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:12,760
Oh, an astronaut.

169
00:10:13,672 --> 00:10:15,360
You do love astronauts.

170
00:10:16,476 --> 00:10:18,682
Yeah, I'm going to be one when I grow up.

171
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,060
But do you know what I love
more than astronauts?

172
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,400
Lego?

173
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,684
Oh, that excites me in a way
no furniture should.

174
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:32,777
And a tiny, single bed.

175
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,639
I did ask for a matchbox, but
this was all they had.

176
00:10:38,243 --> 00:10:39,443
I...

177
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,516
Oh.
Yeah, thanks.

178
00:10:45,164 --> 00:10:46,424
And...

179
00:10:47,475 --> 00:10:49,060
Oh. Yep.

180
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,300
Was all a bit of a rush this
morning, wasn't it?

181
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,644
Yeah.

182
00:10:53,068 --> 00:10:55,316
Did you get home before Jason got there?

183
00:10:55,377 --> 00:10:56,577
Yeah, yeah.

184
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,223
No, it was, um...

185
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:03,928
It was nice.

186
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,860
I mean, the film was bollocks, but...

187
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,973
- Yeah, they always are.
- It's...

188
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:12,020
nice to go to the cinema.

189
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,005
Yeah.
And then...

190
00:11:15,186 --> 00:11:16,386
Yeah.

191
00:11:17,834 --> 00:11:19,935
- Afterwards.
- Yeah.

192
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:25,740
Yeah, no, we should probably do
it again at some point.

193
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,092
Oh, God, yeah.

194
00:11:27,635 --> 00:11:29,715
Consider that your free trial.

195
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,460
Now I'm on permanent standby.

196
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:37,060
Anything you want to do,
no matter how depraved...

197
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,020
Oh, my God...

198
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,440
I don't want Jason to...

199
00:11:41,209 --> 00:11:43,211
Oh, no, of course not.

200
00:11:43,532 --> 00:11:44,940
I'll, um...

201
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,675
I'd better get to my room.

202
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,340
I'm in Willow, apparently.

203
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,060
Oh.
Very nice.

204
00:11:50,408 --> 00:11:51,870
My favourite tree.

205
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,406
Tastes delicious.

206
00:12:00,373 --> 00:12:01,760
Hi, Michael.

207
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,419
- Isn't it big?
- Yeah,

208
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,121
just going to go and look for my room.

209
00:12:07,377 --> 00:12:10,835
If you don't hear from me in the next
hour or so, send out a search party.

210
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,240
Oh.

211
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,300
Wow.

212
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,772
How funny.

213
00:12:19,758 --> 00:12:20,958
Thanks.

214
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,660
Michael just made a funny joke.

215
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:26,940
Oh, well done, mate.

216
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,340
Yeah.
It was really witty.

217
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,140
About a search party.

218
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,780
- Oh, sounds great.
- Yeah.

219
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,020
Thanks, Michael.

220
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,760
We're going to be laughing about
that all afternoon.

221
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,602
- Not a bad house, is it, Jason, mate?
- Yeah, it's amazing.

222
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:46,100
I feel like Pauline must have spent
a fortune hiring it...

223
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:48,323
Are you coming, Mum?
They're doing champagne and nibbles.

224
00:12:48,384 --> 00:12:50,140
Yeah, in a minute.

225
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,112
I wonder what the nibbles are going to be.

226
00:12:52,173 --> 00:12:54,173
It's got to be, like, nuts or something.

227
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,131
What was Michael's joke?

228
00:13:34,997 --> 00:13:36,666
You can smell the cows.

229
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,520
Hundreds of them.

230
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,240
- Can you smell the cows?
- Take this.

231
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,913
- And them.
- All I can smell is cows.

232
00:13:55,074 --> 00:13:58,160
Take that, a minute.
And that.

233
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,440
Just take them.

234
00:14:01,861 --> 00:14:03,800
What's this doing in here?

235
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,417
I didn't know if they'd have one.

236
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:10,100
65 inches, 4k, surround sound,
Wi-Fi, Sky Plus

237
00:14:10,167 --> 00:14:12,456
- and if you ask it nicely...
- Nan and Grandad are here.

238
00:14:12,517 --> 00:14:13,755
Oh, great.

239
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,398
- Oh, right, yeah. Well, we should, uh...
- What does it do?

240
00:14:17,848 --> 00:14:19,510
Oh, nothing.
Doesn't matter.

241
00:14:19,752 --> 00:14:22,101
No, go on.
What does it do if you ask it nicely?

242
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,472
No, it doesn't matter, mate.

243
00:14:24,533 --> 00:14:27,178
- It's a, it's a... forget about it.
- Oh, go on, please.

244
00:14:29,485 --> 00:14:30,895
It, uh...

245
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,520
it makes you a latte.

246
00:14:39,942 --> 00:14:41,542
That's really funny.

247
00:14:42,644 --> 00:14:43,854
Well, thanks.

248
00:14:44,158 --> 00:14:45,358
Wow.

249
00:14:46,841 --> 00:14:48,740
- Did you actually find that funny?
- Yeah!

250
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,194
Of course, it's hilarious!

251
00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:52,980
OK.

252
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,260
Well, I came up with it yesterday.

253
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,260
The fellow who owns this place
was showing us around,

254
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,072
saying what the telly can do
and I just came out with it.

255
00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:00,513
- Wow!
- Yeah.

256
00:15:00,611 --> 00:15:02,440
I didn't even know I was saying it.

257
00:15:03,647 --> 00:15:06,774
- That's really funny, Derek.
- Thanks, Kelly.

258
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:08,620
Oh, there's a fly now.

259
00:15:08,926 --> 00:15:10,300
Hello, Nan! 
Grandad!

260
00:15:10,463 --> 00:15:12,500
Hi, Reg.
Hi, Maureen.

261
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,100
- I'm thirsty.
- Oh, dear.

262
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,135
She's had too many Pringles.

263
00:15:17,196 --> 00:15:19,591
I've had too many Pringles, Cathy.

264
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,831
Stupid how many Pringles I've had.

265
00:15:21,892 --> 00:15:23,660
Hello, everyone!

266
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:28,077
- This is Kumar, the owner of the house.
- Hello, welcome.

267
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,143
Hello, nice to meet you.

268
00:15:30,204 --> 00:15:32,699
- You've got such a lovely home.
- Thank you.

269
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:35,340
But Kumar and his family are sadly residing

270
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,140
at the back of the house, aren't you?

271
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,500
Yes, just during the rental period.

272
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,860
The kids are away at boarding school,
so it's just the two of us.

273
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,304
It's not so nice back there, is it?

274
00:15:44,624 --> 00:15:46,300
It's cosy.

275
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,900
But you need the money, don't you?
From the rental?

276
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,164
Yeah.

277
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,900
- Should I show you the...?
- Did I mention the size

278
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,620
of my divorce settlement?

279
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:55,880
- You did, yes.
- Yes.

280
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,391
- I'll show you the barbecue.
- Reg.

281
00:16:00,024 --> 00:16:01,231
Kumar.

282
00:16:03,242 --> 00:16:05,657
- Big, isn't it?
- Yeah.

283
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,136
- You got Wi-Fi?
- We do, yes.

284
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,760
They've got Wi-Fi!

285
00:16:13,465 --> 00:16:14,711
Yeah.

286
00:16:15,466 --> 00:16:16,689
Wi-Fi.

287
00:16:21,358 --> 00:16:22,617
My God.

288
00:16:24,223 --> 00:16:26,420
Was your towel shaped like a swan?

289
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,111
- Yeah.
- Yeah?

290
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,215
It's genuinely unbelievable.

291
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,281
I've just been getting a latte from the telly!

292
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,940
- How's everything at the flat?
- It's good, yeah.

293
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:44,052
There's a leak from our bath going
into the flat downstairs, but...

294
00:16:44,113 --> 00:16:46,258
we're pretending it's not,
so it should be fine.

295
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,680
Right.

296
00:16:51,521 --> 00:16:54,081
I'm OK, I just keep crying for no reason.

297
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,913
How much of it can we eat?

298
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:03,320
All of it, just help yourselves.

299
00:17:03,498 --> 00:17:05,160
What's wrong with it?

300
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:06,890
There's nothing wrong with it.

301
00:17:06,951 --> 00:17:10,793
- We just got some food for everyone to share.
- Why are you pawning it off on us?

302
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,980
- And how big is the pool?
- It's 12m.

303
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:14,500
- 12?
- Yeah.

304
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,942
Mm.

305
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,900
And it's... what?
Was it 5.5 acres of land?

306
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,660
Uh, 4.5, yeah.

307
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,048
Oh, 4.5?

308
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:24,893
Ohh.

309
00:17:26,249 --> 00:17:27,449
Oh, OK.

310
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,220
Sorry, I was just leaning on my new car.

311
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,620
- I'll show you where the barbecue is.
- If you could.

312
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:38,782
I meant to say, I was a bit late,
because I had to stop for a pee.

313
00:17:38,843 --> 00:17:40,163
Of course I did.

314
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,420
How was it getting
your nan across the gravel?

315
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,340
I'm really sorry, I should have helped.

316
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,234
Didn't need your help, mate.

317
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,500
I think I might pop upstairs and...

318
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,104
finish my unpacking.

319
00:17:55,165 --> 00:17:57,857
- Oh, it's all glamour with you.
- Yeah.

320
00:17:59,313 --> 00:18:00,613
Um...

321
00:18:05,094 --> 00:18:06,518
England.

322
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,172
Yes.

323
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,800
It's England all right.

324
00:18:10,686 --> 00:18:12,440
You wouldn't get this in France.

325
00:18:14,584 --> 00:18:15,930
I'll tell you what,

326
00:18:15,998 --> 00:18:17,755
and this is no exaggeration,

327
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,700
I'd rather be dead than be French.

328
00:18:20,971 --> 00:18:23,100
- I hate the Dutch.
- Oh, yeah, the Dutch.

329
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,300
I mean, what do they even do all day?

330
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:28,740
You know the thing about the Dutch?
No manners.

331
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,076
Is that right?

332
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,420
We did a house move for this Dutch bird.
She offered us a cup of tea

333
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,134
and she never even made it.

334
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,580
- You're kidding me?
- No.

335
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,296
It's in their DNA.

336
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,867
If I discovered I was even a
quarter Dutch I'd be out of here.

337
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:44,819
- Really?
- Yeah.

338
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:48,380
Pills, cyanide, revolver,
I wouldn't take my chances.

339
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,068
I'd completely erase myself.

340
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,685
- Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Well...

341
00:18:58,554 --> 00:18:59,834
Hm.

342
00:19:00,392 --> 00:19:02,564
Pauline's on good form, isn't she?

343
00:19:03,165 --> 00:19:05,580
I think this is going
to be an interesting week.

344
00:19:05,889 --> 00:19:09,020
Oh, God, yeah.
Fascinating, yeah.

345
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,380
No, I'm really interested.

346
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,780
It will be really interesting
to, sort of, collate all the facts

347
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,500
and figures and then go
from there with a view

348
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,000
to what the findings are.

349
00:19:28,403 --> 00:19:30,395
Yeah.

350
00:19:37,336 --> 00:19:40,096
I'm totally on my period at the moment.

351
00:19:41,733 --> 00:19:43,373
Oh, are you?

352
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,455
Yeah.

353
00:19:50,742 --> 00:19:52,820
Apparently there's a whole other
area out the back,

354
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,925
where the family who own it live
while they're renting it out.

355
00:19:56,346 --> 00:20:00,052
Oh, what a place to hire for your birthday.

356
00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:04,026
- I hate to think what they paid for it.
- Yeah.

357
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:06,925
- My dad would have loved it here.
- Oh, yeah.

358
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,536
He would have been straight out into
that swimming pool, wouldn't he?

359
00:20:10,597 --> 00:20:11,797
Um...

360
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,200
no, I don't think so, mate.

361
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,440
No?

362
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,500
Well...

363
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,340
your dad would have found it funny, though.

364
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,300
The chandeliers, the fancy furniture.

365
00:20:25,508 --> 00:20:28,068
No, I don't think so actually.

366
00:20:31,419 --> 00:20:32,718
Why did you come?

367
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,140
- It's Derek's birthday.
- Yeah, yeah.

368
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,727
You know, he invited me.

369
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,840
I've moved into a more consultancy
role at work, haven't I? So...

370
00:20:44,917 --> 00:20:46,637
bit easier to take time off.

371
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:51,120
- I think they're trying to get rid of me.
- Why aren't you in Spain?

372
00:20:54,571 --> 00:20:55,811
I'm just not.

373
00:20:56,833 --> 00:20:58,160
OK.

374
00:21:00,809 --> 00:21:04,292
- Mind if I sit by the fire?
- Yeah, great. Do what you want, mate.

375
00:21:04,419 --> 00:21:05,679
Thanks.

376
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:28,443
And the long hours, you'd always
feel like you're at work.

377
00:21:29,678 --> 00:21:32,087
And I think I'd really miss gravity.

378
00:21:32,148 --> 00:21:34,620
I'd get so hot in the space suit.

379
00:21:34,869 --> 00:21:36,518
Do you know what I mean?

380
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,760
Should we head downstairs, love?

381
00:21:39,021 --> 00:21:40,581
Um...

382
00:21:44,079 --> 00:21:46,859
one of my friends from Sainsbury's,

383
00:21:47,177 --> 00:21:49,617
who you don't know,
she wasn't at my birthday...

384
00:21:50,748 --> 00:21:53,541
she's a little bit, sort of, pregnant.

385
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,314
- Oh, uh, OK.
- Yeah.

386
00:21:58,416 --> 00:22:03,702
Like, just, like, six weeks,
four days or something,

387
00:22:03,763 --> 00:22:05,550
something like that and she was asking me

388
00:22:05,611 --> 00:22:08,380
and I said I'd ask you,
because you know everything,

389
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,420
you're basically the best person
I've ever met, have I told you that?

390
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,559
- You might have mentioned it, yeah.
- Yeah.

391
00:22:14,152 --> 00:22:19,223
Well, she was wondering whether,
when you were as pregnant as she is,

392
00:22:19,284 --> 00:22:22,089
six weeks, four days or thereabouts...

393
00:22:22,973 --> 00:22:25,020
whether it's normal to get, like...

394
00:22:25,439 --> 00:22:27,739
little pains in your tummy?

395
00:22:30,989 --> 00:22:32,671
How little are they?

396
00:22:32,732 --> 00:22:37,620
They're just little pains, just,
sort of, twinges and...

397
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,815
a few little aches down here.

398
00:22:41,959 --> 00:22:44,291
And, and do they make her dizzy?
Or...

399
00:22:44,352 --> 00:22:46,990
does she have to sit down
when she has them? Or...?

400
00:22:47,051 --> 00:22:48,351
Um...

401
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:54,262
no, I don't think so.
They just sort of twinge a little bit.

402
00:22:57,345 --> 00:22:59,299
I think that sounds pretty normal.

403
00:23:00,627 --> 00:23:02,206
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

404
00:23:02,706 --> 00:23:06,378
If they don't hurt too much
or don't get any worse.

405
00:23:07,651 --> 00:23:10,540
She's got all these special bits of her body

406
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,683
that she's never really used before.

407
00:23:13,042 --> 00:23:15,798
- Now they're starting to wake up.
- Yeah, yeah.

408
00:23:16,236 --> 00:23:18,218
I'll tell her that, then, yeah.

409
00:23:18,721 --> 00:23:19,921
Thanks.

410
00:23:24,657 --> 00:23:25,857
How does she feel?

411
00:23:27,049 --> 00:23:30,276
Um... disgusting, yeah.

412
00:23:30,563 --> 00:23:34,140
She just, sort of, feels
constantly sick I think and...

413
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:39,739
sort of like she's the tiredest
and ugliest person in the universe.

414
00:23:40,235 --> 00:23:41,551
And like...

415
00:23:42,011 --> 00:23:44,560
she's always been the stupid one.

416
00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:48,839
But now it's getting like...

417
00:23:51,492 --> 00:23:52,942
I don't know.

418
00:23:56,389 --> 00:23:57,794
But is she happy?

419
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,180
Well, if your friend's got
any other questions,

420
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,246
- you can always ask me for her.
- Yeah.

421
00:24:10,528 --> 00:24:12,060
Thanks, yeah.

422
00:24:12,583 --> 00:24:14,020
I will do.

423
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,700
I'm just going to pop to my room
and text her all that info

424
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,527
and then I'm going to get back to
dealing with my massive period.

425
00:24:19,588 --> 00:24:20,829
Lovely.

426
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,180
How's Kumar?

427
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,926
Boasting about the house again.

428
00:24:25,987 --> 00:24:27,420
Huh! 
It's not that good.

429
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:28,660
I know!

430
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,365
- I know.
- What's it got? Like, four acres?

431
00:24:31,426 --> 00:24:32,706
4.5.

432
00:24:33,726 --> 00:24:34,980
Please.

433
00:24:35,523 --> 00:24:37,412
He never forgets the point five.

434
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,140
He's got no self-awareness.

435
00:24:41,394 --> 00:24:42,620
Sad really.

436
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,549
We should feel sorry for him.

437
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,040
I don't feel sorry for him.

438
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,320
I want to punch his fucking face.

439
00:24:52,399 --> 00:24:54,830
Is your towel shaped like a swan?

440
00:24:54,891 --> 00:24:56,957
Of course, I insist upon it.

441
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,640
I think I'm going to
start doing that at home.

442
00:25:07,677 --> 00:25:09,216
Jason been OK?

443
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:13,100
- Yeah, yeah we had a nice chat.
- I was in such a rush this morning,

444
00:25:13,458 --> 00:25:15,300
I was worried that he
might have noticed or...

445
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:16,600
He didn't say anything.

446
00:25:19,213 --> 00:25:22,085
- You don't think he suspects anything?
- Michael, mate.

447
00:25:22,146 --> 00:25:23,420
Have you seen the sofas in here?

448
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,077
- What's that?
- They've got piping.

449
00:25:26,567 --> 00:25:29,260
- You're kidding me?
- It's another world.

450
00:25:29,341 --> 00:25:31,453
Look at it, mate.
Piping.

451
00:25:34,954 --> 00:25:37,774
Mum, come and have a look at the garden.
There's a swing.

452
00:25:37,835 --> 00:25:39,835
Oh, lovely, yeah.

453
00:25:44,387 --> 00:25:46,140
And you just turn the gas on.

454
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:49,860
This actually reminds me of the third time
I went to southern Brazil.

455
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:51,146
Oh, OK.

456
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,220
Have you ever had
a churrasco in southern Brazil?

457
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,260
no, I haven't, no.
We've, we've been to the north.

458
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,440
- Well, everyone's been to the north.
- Yeah.

459
00:26:09,435 --> 00:26:10,720
Lovely loo roll.

460
00:26:12,691 --> 00:26:14,011
It's three ply!

461
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,048
It's three ply!

462
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,103
How am I going to get up the stairs?

463
00:26:36,615 --> 00:26:38,820
I'll get you up the stairs.

464
00:26:39,020 --> 00:26:40,818
Here's the birthday boy!

465
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,620
Oh, bloody hell, champagne!

466
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,500
It's a great house, Pauline, wow.

467
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:46,580
It'll do.

468
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,914
I was just saying to Marco how
Dad would have liked it here.

469
00:26:49,975 --> 00:26:51,557
Oh, God.
Yeah, he would have.

470
00:26:51,618 --> 00:26:53,460
He'd have been straight in
that pool, wouldn't he?

471
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,700
He would have been straight in
there with all his clothes on

472
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,355
and we would have been stood about laughing.

473
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,060
I'd have been in there
after him, wouldn't I?

474
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:03,931
Yeah, yeah, you would have, love.

475
00:27:05,369 --> 00:27:07,269
- Vegetable crusts.
- Coming!

476
00:27:13,603 --> 00:27:18,203
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